lion chasers

stop living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death

-mark batterson

a perfect peace

I'm stuck in this tandem, a teeter totter of sorts. Summer has been a back and forth between glimpses of exceeded expectations and dashed hopes. God has even answered my "why?" questions more than once, and not becasue I'm entitled to questions, but because He can handle the answers. And yet there are times that i have hope (the definition of hope being "the absolute assurance of coming good") only to see hope slip just barely out of reach.

This morning I read the story of Jesus' first miracle, turning water in wine (i love that the first is at a party, but that's beside the point for now). So Jesus tells the servants to fill the jars with water, and without knowing much (just knowing He's capable of lots) they do it. They don't know completely, never do we know completely, but they obey. So when the water actually becomes wine they're the first to know. What a secret.

So they bring the wine to the Master of Ceremonies and he is impressed. "So you saved the best for last!" he says. "How unusual." Call me crazy but it felt like the echo of my Father and Satisfier saying, I've done good, yes. But I'm not done. For all you know, I'm saving the best for last.

But in my head clinging to that feels like running to the upside of a teeter totter... a kerplunk is sure to follow.

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all those who are fixed on You. Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord is an eternal Rock [not a teeter totter]… Lord, we show our trust in you by obeying Your laws; our heart’s desire is to glorify Your name.” – is 26:3-4,8

And so I want to keep filling jars, keep getting glimpses, and peeking around corners. And bests are still coming and summer's still rolling along in the lovliest way possible.

So a perfect peace wouldn't be peace at all if it only exsisted without any swirling circumstances. perfect peace rests in hope, hope that the best is not over, never over.

.Prince Caspian and Santa Clause-like Thoughts.

I watched Prince Caspian with a sweet friend last night until she went to bed and my laundry was done.

I’ve always loved those books, but secretly (ok, openly) was never sure about the movies.

But I love Narnia. I used to pray so hard that it was real, that I would be able to go.

Could it possible I’d be so lucky?

I must have been quite the optimistic 8-year to nod my head and say, “one day” and truly believe it with all my heart.

But anyway, watching it last night something new stuck out. This is probably because of this need for God’s sufficiency and sufficient grace as of late.

When the White Witch is being summoned by the hag and the warewolf, Peter and Edmund come rushing in to save the day. And the one who finishes off the white witch is Edmund.

I love that.

This enemy who had held him captive before, who Aslan had beaten for him, was overcome. Sure, it will never be alone, but praise God He’s able to bring us along… to a place where we stumble less and less.

And so I will say with Caspian, “I don’t think I am ready” in his case to be king, in mine to lead anybody. But Aslan’s reply calms so much turmoil.

“If you believed you were it would prove that you were not.”

Grace. All-sufficient grace.

And to add to this thought, I’ve been thinking a lot about a commonly used phrase. Every parent has said it, and unless you were extra un-gullible child you probably smiled, nodded, and believed. This santa-like idea is that “you can do whatever you want to if you put your mind to it.”

The idea behind it was pure. Try harder, chase your dreams, because sometimes that is what it takes to make them real. And when we’re little and those lines are too difficult (for those of us who even tried to stay inside them), we needed a push to keep on, that way we too may one day realize our potential.

But let’s be honest. I cannot be a world-class swimmer. Honestly, I can’t even beat my 12 year-old brother. I can’t be a good librarian. At least not without reaching the brink of insanity.

But we each have gifts. Maybe we can’t do whatever we want if we try, but who’s to say this isn’t it? The thing we can do better than anything else. The thing that most glorifies God in our little piece of this world.

We are called to paint our little worlds and make the pieces we can touch beautiful, and God will take care of the other corners with other painters and builders and all the other gifteds. That’s each of us.

So, I guess, keep putting your mind to it. But never get to a place that you claim your gift is anything more than a God-given tool.