a perfect peace

I'm stuck in this tandem, a teeter totter of sorts. Summer has been a back and forth between glimpses of exceeded expectations and dashed hopes. God has even answered my "why?" questions more than once, and not becasue I'm entitled to questions, but because He can handle the answers. And yet there are times that i have hope (the definition of hope being "the absolute assurance of coming good") only to see hope slip just barely out of reach.

This morning I read the story of Jesus' first miracle, turning water in wine (i love that the first is at a party, but that's beside the point for now). So Jesus tells the servants to fill the jars with water, and without knowing much (just knowing He's capable of lots) they do it. They don't know completely, never do we know completely, but they obey. So when the water actually becomes wine they're the first to know. What a secret.

So they bring the wine to the Master of Ceremonies and he is impressed. "So you saved the best for last!" he says. "How unusual." Call me crazy but it felt like the echo of my Father and Satisfier saying, I've done good, yes. But I'm not done. For all you know, I'm saving the best for last.

But in my head clinging to that feels like running to the upside of a teeter totter... a kerplunk is sure to follow.

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all those who are fixed on You. Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord is an eternal Rock [not a teeter totter]… Lord, we show our trust in you by obeying Your laws; our heart’s desire is to glorify Your name.” – is 26:3-4,8

And so I want to keep filling jars, keep getting glimpses, and peeking around corners. And bests are still coming and summer's still rolling along in the lovliest way possible.

So a perfect peace wouldn't be peace at all if it only exsisted without any swirling circumstances. perfect peace rests in hope, hope that the best is not over, never over.